|| Shri Hari ||

Duties in a Household Life

 continued

Question -  There are five debts which are to be paid to manes, gods, sages, creatures and human beings, in the scriptures.   Out of them what is the debt which is to be paid to manes and how to pay it ?  

Answer -   The obsequies performed at the death of parents, grand-parents,  great grand-parents,  maternal grand-parents and maternal-great-grand parents are known as ‘Pretakaarya’  and offerings of oblation of cooked rice ball and water to manes are known as ‘Pitrakaarya.’ After death a being may go to any species - of gods, human beings, birds,  beasts, ghosts,  evil spirits,  trees and creepers etc.,  he is called a ‘Pitara’ (manes).  

The body is constituted of the ovum and sperm of parents.  It is nourished by the mother’s milk and the food-stuff earned by the father.  The son receives education and talent from parents.   The parents get him married.  Thus a son is indebted to his parents,  the parents are indebted to the grand-parents,  and the grand-parents are indebted to the great grand-parents.    

Thus in order to be free from this ancestral debt and to lead the manes to salvation,  a son should offer oblation of cooked rice balls and water etc., to them.  

If a son offers oblation of cooked rice balls and water to his manes,  but he does not produce any offspring for offering cooked rice balls and water to the manes,  he is not freed from debt which he owes to them  i.e. he remains indebted to them.  When an offspring is born,  he does not remain indebted to them any more,  the debt is transferred to the offspring.  Manes want the offerings of cooked rice ball and water.  Therefore they are happy if they receive them,  but sad without them.  ‘They are also sad if no offspring is born to the son because they think that no one will offer the oblation of cooked rice balls and water to them.  

Question -  Do manes receive the oblation offered to them ?  

Answer -  Yes,  manes receive the oblation offered to them in the form of food and drink in whatsoever life (species) they are.  If they are in animal species,  the oblation offered to them is received by them in the form of grass.  But if they are in divine form of life,  they receive it in the form of nectar.  It means that they receive it as sustenance.  As money sent by us in rupees to America by money-order is received in the form of dollars over there,  so is the oblation offered to manes in the form of cooked rice ball and water,  and charity given,  is received by them in the form of food and drink according to their species.   

(to be continued....... ) 

 ‒From the book ‘Jeevan ka Kartavya' by Swami Ramsukhdasji

|| Shri Hari ||

Duties in a Household Life

 continued

Question ‒ What is the main duty of a householder ?  

Answer -  The main duty of a householder is to serve the persons of the four social orders -  celibates, householders, retirees,  and renunciates.   The householder is their mother-father, sustainer,  preserver etc.   All the people in the four social orders are born of householders and are sustained and preserved by them.  It is therefore the main and special duty of householders to sustain and support the persons of the four social orders.  

Hospitality, providing facilities to cattle such as cows, buffaloes, sheep and goats etc.,   regarding rats-mice etc.,  which live in the house as members of the family and to sustain and support them all -  these are the special duties of a householder.  Similarly rendering service to gods and sages,  offering oblation of cooked rice balls and water to manes and rendering special service to God (chanting His name and His remembrance) are also special duties of householders.  

Question:   How to lead a household life ?   

Answer:   A householder life is a school to attain salvation.   The main duty of the householder is to serve all the four household orders.  ‘This human body does not aim at enjoying pleasures’  (Manasa,  Uttara.  44/1)  Even the attainment of the world of Brahma by performing religious sacrifices etc.,  is not at all praiseworthy,  because he has to return from there as well.   Lord Krishna declares,  ‘A’;; worlds including that of Brahma are subject to return.’  (Gita 8/16).   Therefore,  a householder should renounce his own comforts in order to provide comforts to others according to his own power (resources) with his body, mind, intellect and rights etc. 

(to be continued....... ) 

 ‒From the book ‘Jeevan ka Kartavya' by Swami Ramsukhdasji

|| Shri Hari ||

Duties in a Household Life

Question ‒ Why should one get married  ?  Is it a necessity ?  

Answer ‒  There are two types of celibates over here -  ‘Naishthika’ (life long celibates)   and ‘Upakurvaana’ (celibates after leading a household life).   ‘Naishthika’  celibates are those who lead a pure unmarried life throughout their life;  while ‘Upakurvaana’ celibates are those who after reflection are unable to renounce the desire for pleasure so they lead a married life in order to root out this desire.  It means that those who can’t renounce the desire for pleasure, get married, in order to experience that the desire for pleasure can’t be rooted out through enjoyment.  After the householder social order, the other two social orders namely the retired and the renunciate have been ordained in our society.  It is not human to continue to enjoy pleasures by continuing to lead a household life.  

He who has a desire to enjoy mundane pleasures or he who wants the family succession to continue and has no brother,  should get married in order to wipe out the desire for pleasure or to continue the family succession.   If he has none of the above mentioned two desires,  he need not get married.  In the scriptures,  the path of renunciation has been declared to be the supreme.  

Question -  How to follow the path of renunciation when it is forbidden in the Kali age. (Kaliyug) ?  

Answer -  It is forbidden in the Kali age because in this age it is very difficult to follow this renunciate path properly.  Therefore just like retired government servants, he should retire from the domestic duties and having handed over the family duties and responsibilities to his sons and grand sons,  should devote himself to devotion to God.  If his sons want,  he should have affinity for his family in order to receive food and clothes for the mere maintenance.  If the sons don’t want it, he should renounce the affinity even for the mere maintenance.  He should not worry for the maintenance of his body because Saint Tulasidasa declares -  Fate is decided first and then the body is bestowed.  So why should a person worry ?   He should recite Lord Rama’s name with devotion.  

(to be continued....... ) 

 ‒From the book ‘Jeevan ka Kartavya' by Swami Ramsukhdasji

|| Shri Hari |

Why does the Jeev Return?

continued...

Sisters and mothers !   while staying in your home,  proclaim that from henceforth,  I will do the work,   you all rest !   You do the work of all the members of your household.  If you are a mother-in-law, then may you tell your daughter-in-law 'Child, wait, I will take care of it.'  The daughter-in-law says 'Ram !  Ram !!  O' Lord ! how can it be so?  Seniors working, while I am here?'  then the mother-in-law says -  'Child !  while I am alive, I should most certainly work'   the daughter-in-law says,  'mother !  You work, while I sit around? How can that be possible?  If you go away, then who will we show the work that has been done?  There the work will have to be done by me'  In this manner, let there be a race in every homes for the first to do the work.    Sister-in-law says, I will do the work.   Daughter-in-law says,  I will !    Pleasure, rest, praise is for others,  where-as the housework,  effort, is for us.  Then you will not have to come to this world.   When you have not accepted anything as your own and you have served all,  then for what will you return here?   

Work at home.  Serve others.   Give them happiness.  Do not be proud.   Do not have  a sense of mine-ness.   Your mine-ness will not work.    Hundred years back,  did you have affection, a sense of mine-ness with these family members and this house?   After a hundred years, will that affection and mine-ness remain?   It will not remain. Even at present it is going away constantly.  The number of days that have gone by,  that many days,  all these things have separated from us.   When life-span comes to an end, then it will say 'Raam Naam Satya Hai' -  (Only the Divine Name of the Lord is Real'   Then how are these things yours?   Before they were not yours, later on they will not be yours, then in the middle,  how have they become yours?   Every moment they are departing from you.  Serve everyone with these things.  Respect them.  Give them honor. While  living at home, be supremely benefited.

   (continued....)

From "Kalyaankari Pravachan"  in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji

|| Shri Hari ||

Why does the Jeev Return?

continued...

Some people say that this affection, the sense of mine-ness does not leave me.   If your intentions are genuine and honest, then God will make them leave. Call out to God,  O'  Lord !  I do not want to accept these things as mine,  then God will say,  very well !  and that sense of mine-ness (mamta) will go away.   However, this will take place only if there is a genuine intention and longing from the heart to be free of this sense of mine-ness (mamta).    If you do not want to leave, then it will not leave even when death comes.   You will have to become a ghost-a phantom.   Wearing the same clothes,  they come to the same houses.  Many people have seen them.   Even after becoming a ghost, a spirit, the sense of mine-ness will not leave.   Therefore the things in this world that you have developed affection and sense of mine-ness for,  they become the main cause for returning to this world.   This itself is a grave mistake.   

This entire world is God's, but we have assumed it to be ours – this is dishonesty.   It is not sincerity.  Brother – sisters,  mothers !  minimally at least accept that all the things and beings that you regard as your own, they are all belonging to God, then it will all become an offering (prasaad) of God.   Thereafter become joyful, that I am receiving the Lord's prasaad.  Who can be more fortunate than me?   If the thing goes away, then the Lord's thing has gone away.  Absolutely do not accept it as your thing.  Yes !  most certainly take good care of it.  Now tell me,  will there not be joy even at death.    Kabirdasji says -

Sab jag darape maran se mere maran aanand |

Kab mariye kab bhetiye,  puran paramaanand ||

'There is joy on my death,  because we will meet our dear and loving Lord.'  We will go to our home.  The Lord is our home, our country, our family.   He is ours, and We are his very own part (ansh).   We are of the same 'jaati'  (class) as the Lord.   We are His relative.   You and me, we are all  God's. This country is not our country -

In aangani – ye hey sakhi, hum khelan aaye |

Kayi khelyaa kayi khel si,  kayi khel sidhaaye ||

This is a stage for acting out the play.  All we have to do is act and play.  By regarding the play things as our own,  is itself a mistake.

You all tell me that there is lack of peace,  there is sorrow,  there is vexation  - what to do?   Brothers !  the dishonesty that you have committed, by accepting the things that belonged to God as your own,  you will have to suffer the pain from it.  It is due to regarding these things as your own that you are not peaceful.   Wherever you leave the sense of 'mine-ness'  (apnaapan), peace immediately follows.

Nirmamoha nirahankaarah sa shaantimadhigacchyati ||  

(Gita 2/71)

   (continued....)

From "Kalyaankari Pravachan"  in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji

|| Shri Hari ||

Why does the Jeev Return?

continued...

Brothers and sisters,  have mercy !  Now admit that all the things that are yours, belong to God.   Admit from the heart, that O' Lord,  everything here, is Yours.  Jewellry, clothes, food, house,  etc. it is all a gift.  Now, Have the feeling that wherever God wills He may keep these things.   Thereafter,  why will we return?  We have no sense of mine-ness with anything.  No one whatsoever is ours.    In this manner, please turn everything over to God.   In reality, everything is God's only.  We have assumed it to be our own.  We have to only give up that belief, that assumption.   Maharaj Raghu,  performed a Vishwajeet Yagya, to conquer the world, and later give everything away as charity.  This is Vishwajeet yagya.  Gentlemen !  You and me, we can all do Vishwajeet yagya.    From the heart we can turn everything over to God.   Even this body is to be not regarded as ours.   If from the heart we accept that nothing whatsoever is ours,  then Vishwajeet yagya would be accomplished, and you will not need to go anywhere for it.      

People say that it is due to God's divine potency, His illusory powers  (maya) that we have become entranced.   We have not become enchanted by God's divine potency, rather we have conceded God's divine and illusory power as ours, therefore we have become enchanted.   God's divine potency does not enchant anyone.  God's divine potency, showers it grace, and provides the means to ensure that everyone's activities takes place properly.    But you take possession and ownership of the things that are received. You grant them to be your own.    Gentlemen !  these are not yours at all, they never were, and they will also not remain yours.    Even at present constantly they are separating from you.

Pay attention,  the number of days that you and I have lived, regarding these things as our own, that many days we have separated from them.  If somethings are to stay with us for fifty years, and ten years have passed, then will it stay with us for fifty years now?  Now it will stay with us for only forty years.   Therefore separation is most certainly taking place constantly.  The objects that you assume to be your own,  those things are every moment separating from us.   It was separate before,  later on it will be separated from us, and at present too it is separating from us.   The objects never say that 'that you are mine and I am yours'.  It is you that says -  'that this is mine'.  Therefore you have to return back here.   The house never said that you are mine.  The objects did not say that you are mine, and truthfully speaking, as long as you are alive till then the family says mine-mine.   The moment the life breath leaves, they will burn you ashes, simply wipe you off -

Swaans thakaam sab aas karai, swaas gayaa ab kaadho re kaadho |

Dharati ko dhan bataaya diyo, ab naakh saneti mein baandho re gaadho||

Ados-pados ke aap khade sab. Koyu na kahavat raakho re thaadho |

Thet masaan pounchaay diyo ab, rah gayi jaan chalyo gayo laado ||

Then too you say -  this is mine !  this is mine !  what is yours?  Even the body will remain right here.    Brothers and sisters, have mercy,  with a true heart please acknowledge and say that all this belongs to God     

   (continued....)

From "Kalyaankari Pravachan"  in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji