How to Attain Victory Over Anger

What does it mean to live in a family?   You have certain obligation to fulfill your duty. What is your duty?  You fulfill your duties properly, whether the wife listens, does not listen, whether the son listens, does not listen, whether brother listens,  does not listen,  whether parents listen,  do not listen.  Do not ever look towards whether they do their duty or not.   When you look towards their duty, thinking  that he does not become arrogant and rebellious, during such times you are deviating from your duty, you are falling from your duty.  As such, where has it been said that your duty is to see towards other's faults?   No where in the scriptures it has been said that you see towards other's faults; rather it has been said that this world is made up of the three constituents of nature (mode of passion "rajas", ignorance "tamas" and goodness "sattva",  it is filled with faults. 

Sanahu taat maayaa gun aru dosh anek  |

Gun yah ubhaya na dekhiahin dekhia so abibek ||

(Manas 7/41)

If others have good qualities you may see them,  but do not see their bad qualities.   If you see towards their bad qualities,  those qualities will come in you and on seeing those bad qualities if you are getting angry to save them from their willful acts, then you cannot be saved from that anger.   Therefore you do your duty.  We are not see towards other's duty, nor are we to see towards their flaws and faults.   Yes!  If you have a son, then it is your duty to teach him good lessons,  but wanting that he should do exactly as you say -  that is not your duty.  That is his duty.   It is not your duty to show him what his duty is.   Your duty is only to say that brother,  look it is not good to do like this.   If he says -  "no, no father,  I will do it like this";  then say – "OK,  do it that way!"  This is a very good medicine.  I too am taking this medicine.  The medicine that has been given, is a very effective medicine.   If you say – "Do like this"  and if he says,  "No !  I will do like that only."   Then simply say – "OK! do it like that." 

Rajjab ros na kijiye koyi kahe kyon hi |

Hasker utter dijiye haa babaji yu hi ||

If it is sinful or unlawful then do not accept it.  We are to say according to the scriptures and if they do not listen then do the scriptures say to fight with them?  Or to control them?  You only have the rights to tell them what you know to be true -  "karmanyavaadhikaaraste"  (Gita 2/47)  but thinking that they should do exactly as you say  - that is the fruit,  to which you have no rights.  "Maa phaleshu kadaachan"  (Gita 2/47).   You have done your part,  your duty was only to tell.  It was not your duty to make then do as you said !  To do as you say is their duty.  We only have to explain their duty.  If they fulfill their duty then there is no obstacle in your spiritual progress and if they do not fulfill their duty then too there is no loss. There is no loss for you at all,  because you have said what is for their welfare.  This is a priceless point !   

Narayana!  Narayana !! Narayana !!! 

From book in english "Art of Living" by Swami Ramsukhdasji