(continued) There was a time cow's milk was strained before drinking to avoid any cow's fur coming in the milk. Milk is given with much pleasure by the cow, but if cow experiences pain or suffering (due to fur or udder getting pulled) then blood may come out. Some say that if the fur is pulled what is the big deal? Even if a little bit of the fur is pulled, then the cow will suffer. That which is taken from from another person by causing pain and suffering, is very harmful. The bride's family should be told - we will not take any money, rather we will only take your daughter - "kanya-daan". Accepting a daughter is also a form of charity, rather it is a great charity. Why does one take a daughter in as charity? If we take a daughter in as charity, than later on the Lord will give us a daughter, so we too will give a daughter as charity. It is customary that the things received from the bride's family should not be hoarded, it must be used and it must be distributed to Brahmins etc. Just as when we get sweets they are distributed to all, similarly, these should not remain in the house. By doing so, there is no debt on us and all become happy. After marriage if anything comes from the wife's family and if the mother-in-law and others criticize saying what have they sent? When the bride hears this, she feels sad. Who would like to hear the criticism about their own mother? By hearing the criticism about one's mother, one is sad and there is some level of suffering. Later on when she becomes the queen of the household, she will do as she pleases. Therefore be affectionate towards her now, be friendly, and keep her happy. Combine whatever comes from her parent's home, with what you have and distribute to others. Tell others that lot of these things have come from the girl's family. By doing so, the bride's mother will get recognition and it will make the bride very happy. You say that all this costs money, but by a few additional rupees, the person will become our very own. The bride will become yours. She will become yours forever. By these simple acts if someone becomes yours, then is that an expensive proposition? It will cost very little! Think deeply about this ! The relation will be good, and love in the family will also increase. She too will be happy, that my mother-in-law has praised my mother. But if a lot of money was spent at the weddings, the impression of that will remain for a life-time. Therefore brithers! Sacrifice a bit, the fruits of that will be very great. The things that have been received, use them properly. Boys and girls are well provided for, they have been given good education. Let good sentiments and feelings develop within them, let good qualities and good behavior be developed. You have the time to earn money, but what are the children doing, how are they being raised? What are they learning, you pay little attention to these things. O' brothers ! this is true wealth. What a great thing it is if this person becomes a great man ! As man great souls that have come about, their mothers were very good. The children of such great mothers have been very good. They have become saints and great souls. Mother's nature comes in the child, therefore mothers should want that their children get good training and learning. But the lessons she teaches are opposite. She teaches the daughter to keep her money with her. If there is a separation then that money can come to the daughter. She teaches things like, why should you work in the house, let that be the work of the mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Do not work! Now surely there will be quarrels and bickering. If the daughter-in-law that comes into your household has learnt such lessons, then she too will do the same and not work. Then you will say that my daughter-in-law does not do any work. If you do good, then it will be good for you. If you do bad, then it will be bad for you. "Kali you hai is haath de, us haath le, kyaa khoob saudaa nagad hai!" (to be continued) |